Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Where are all the male carers?

As we've finally managed to find out about various local groups and activities for people with dementia and their carers, we're meeting more and more of these people. Most of them are older as these sessions are open to all and the vast majority of people with the condition are older. There are obviously men and women but what you can't help noticing is that very few, if any, women are brought by male carers. They're brought by sons or daughters or by paid carers whereas many of the men seem to be accompanied by their partners.

I suppose the fact that women generally live longer than men means that some of the women we see are widows but you can't help wondering where the women who still have living partners are.


  1. Thank you for your blog - was re-directed here from Gransnet. Although I am not yet having the experience of being a carer or being cared for - I'm sure it will come one day and just wanted to express my appreciation of your sharing your experiences. I know from my own blog-writing that writing blogs when people don't comment can sometimes be dispiriting. All good wishes to you and your wife.

  2. Thank you very much for the kind comments, Heather. I know that being on Gransnet and Mumsnet has significantly increased the readership, which is very pleasing, but it is, as you suggest heartening to receive comments as well.

  3. Sometimes readers won't know what to say if you write about a difficult subject - I know first hand about this. But I found that by commenting on other blogs, those bloggers come and have a look at my blog and most leave a nice comment.

    Try joining Twitter, because it is a very good place to find networks of interested people who will want to read what you write and interact with you.

    The thing is, your blog could make a difference to someone else's life, so don't miss out on making a difference. Write a nice blog, but you must still promote it and interact with other bloggers. Mumsnet can only do so much. Have a look at Love All Blogs and The Camel's Hump for longer articles.

    BW to you both,
    Lesley x.

  4. Thank you very much Lesley. This is helpful. I'll certainly try your suggestions as I want to build up the readership. It is climbing quite nicely now but, as you suggest, I would like it to be a help to others, so I need to be proactive in drawing it to people's attention.

  5. Hi, I have been reading your blog and wondered whether you would be interested in blogging on talkhealth? You can see the blog at www.talkhealthpartnership.com/blog if you would like more information please contact me at cara.voller@talkhealthpartnership.com and I will send you more details.

    Many thanks


  6. what is gransnet and mumsnet? I've never heard of that. I found your blog on another blog I was reading; she put yours as one she likes. I write momsdementia.com and have a pretty good readership all over the world, but NO one hardly ever comments except my brings. I always start at the beginning of a blog and read from oldest to newest, and I end up feeling I'm a part of their family. I do alot of commenting too. I guess I'm a busybody in that respect, wanting to have my say. But I do enjoy reading these as it helps me not feel "special" or "different", the things we are going through are common things worldwide. It gives a feeling of unity. Thanks for sharing,, and yes, i think it is rare for a husband to be the caregiver; usually a daughter steps forward. Although as a realtor, i have met 2 husbands trying to sell homes in the past year who are caregivers to wives with AD. You can just see the love they have for their spouses in their face and eyes. I always want to give them a big ole Texas hug and tell them how special they are.