People with dementia and their family carers say (National Dementia Declaration) that they want to see the following outcomes in their lives:
I have personal choice and control or influence over decisions about me
I know that services are designed around me and my needs
I have support that helps me live my life
I have the knowledge and know-how to get what I need
I live in an enabling and supportive environment where I feel valued and understood
I have a sense of belonging and of being a valued part of family, community and civic life
I know there is research going on which delivers a better life for me now and hope for the future.
If you really accept this, then much of what passes as advice to people who care for people with dementia is seen to be deeply flawed.