Sunday, 29 November 2015


It's very common for carers to be offered 'respite'. Typically, the person they care for will spend a night, or some night(s), in a care home so that the carer can have a day or few days respite from the demands of caring.

I haven't done this yet but since S has been given Continuing Healthcare funding I could easily do it in the future. There's a specific budget available. But, and this is something that you have perhaps to experience to appreciate fully, even now I find that my efforts to do more, get out and see friends etc are limited by my need to know that S is OK - even though I know that she is being well looked-after. There's almost a time-limit sometimes - I feel the pull and have to come home. Even though I talk about longer respite - even a single overnight away e.g. - I currently find it hard to imagine myself doing that. She still depends on me - I've kept her going. And as a result, I'm somehow dependent on her.

I think I might well eventually come to accept that extended respite, i.e. beyond a weekly 'evening off', will be necessary but I also feel that the difficulty that many carers have in accepting this is underestimated.

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